To the Romantic Girls

To the romantic girls. To the sweet, eloquent, fiery Annes. To the driven, fierce, dreaming Jo Marches. To the social, bright, well-intending Emmas and the witty, patient, opinionated Elizabeths. To the weary, hopeful, fearless Eponines. And to the passionate, overflowing, dancing Natashas. 

Me? I'm a Natasha Rostova. I feel too much and I say too much and I love the beauty around me too fully to express in all the lovely words I can possibly muster. Perhaps you identify with a fictional romantic girl, whether one of the ones mentioned above or another I neglected to list. We dream of dresses and ballrooms with music and sparkling candlelight. We dream of open fields of wildflowers and bright sunshine. We adore the lovely, the gentle, the lively, and we seek to mirror it ourselves. We struggle to keep our toes on the ground with our heads on straight while our hearts want to fly to the sky. We want to love everyone around us to the point of our own exhaustion. We hesitantly, quietly wish for our own Mr. Darcy someday. There is always a song on the tips of our tongues and our eyes ever search for something to call beautiful. 

But life is hard. 

We live in an era that would sully our dreaming purity and scoff at our bright-eyed hopes. The world tells us that our innocent desires and picturesque wishes for life, for love, and for happiness are silly and impossible. They would walk on our femininity and shred our commitment to God. We hear things like:

That's not practical.

If you want a man, that means you're discontent/not loving God enough/weak/silly. 

Oh, just you wait until life hits you in the face. 

Your career is more important. 

Don't get your hopes up. 

Perhaps you've even been told by fellow believers that your hopes show that you are not guarding your heart. 

It's also hard as our friends around us spill over their excitement over new blossoming relationships, as other friends' wedding photos fill our social media feeds in idealistic sweetness and joy, as others even start their families and you get a few minutes to hold their new blessing and your heart sighs. It's hard as our fellow single ladies find funds to travel the world and experience new places and beauty while we are at home plugging through brain-stretching homework and scrubbing the bathroom floor. Along with your happiness for them, sometimes there comes sadness and even tears. Your heart aches for such things, and you bow your head, whisper Thy will be done, and continue scrubbing the bathroom floor. As strong as we are and may seem to those around us, we are still fragile. 

Dear girls, dreaming is not wrong. It only becomes wrong when we do allow our hopes to lead to discontent and dissatisfaction. This does not mean to give up hope. This simply means to hope without worry and without impatience. This is not easy at all, no matter how much we dislike to admit it, but God can give us the strength, contentedness, and patience we need if only we ask Him. For while we do not know if what we desire is in His will, the strength, contentedness, and patience we so often need is indeed within His will, and He will grant it to us. 

There are two things I've found helpful in my own journey through life as an often lonely, sometimes depressed romantic girl. One, learn to love the life you have. It can be hard, but at the same time, it does not have to be. Open the windows. Put on cheerier music. Find somewhere to go and somewhere to be. Take care of yourself and write down what you are thankful for. Help someone else. The mundane is called the mundane for a reason. While we are often told only to appreciate the mundane, I don't believe this means we cannot break it up. Make your food and your home/room pretty for the sake of it. Go for a walk. No one said our daily routine had to be the same, nor did they say it had to be the doldrums. Learn from the Cinderella character in the new live-action film, who does this exact thing. 

Two, do not be afraid to pray for what you want. Often our prayer of "Thy will be done" is one of resignation and doubt. Instead, pray for what you want, but ask God that if that is not in His will that He changes your own to desire His. And He promises to do so. 

Nowhere does the Bible say it is wrong to desire a beautiful life, idyllic memories, a good husband and your own home and children. In fact, these things and you are precious in His sight. The Bible says to put God before all. I think sometimes people forget this and expect us to live as nuns emotionally and mentally (and I'm not referring merely to sexual purity here, but rather with our outlook as a whole). 

Keep your toes on the ground, but don't stop dancing and don't be afraid to smile. In a dark and dreary world, we need girls who see and long for beauty around them. Never settle for less than your convictions, and always look forward to eternity.